President Obama, riding a slight bump in the polls following his populist State of the Union address, announced today that he is going to follow up his State of the Union Address with a series of speeches aimed at answering some persistent questions that the American people have been asking for some time. First on the docket: the question of why bad things happen to good people. In the following weeks we can expect to see speeches on where babies come from and whether or not the refrigerator light stays on when we shut the door.
Today in the daily news briefing White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney said that
this was quote “One of the most pressing issues on the minds of Americans today. The President knows that the vast majority of Americans are good people, yet an equally vast majority have seen bad things happen to them. The President understands this and has been consulting with other world leaders as to whether or not bad things happen to good people in their countries as well.” On Thursday the President will give a speech on his findings and conclusions from the kitchen of the White House, where just yesterday a very nice chef named Mel cut himself while slicing radishes.
When asked if the president has any plans laid out to help reverse this process of bad things happening to good people, Carney politely dodged the question saying that he would not comment on the scope of the presidents speech, only that it would explain the problem in a way that would make the American public feel warm, safe and as though yes we in fact Can.
The timing of the speech has been called into question by both Congressional Democrats and Republicans, as recent polling seems to indicate that while bad things happening to good people have been on the rise they are matched by a rise in bad things happening to bad people. Which some Democrats say reflects a lack of compassion for those bad people affected and some Republicans claim indicates the problem will soon solve itself
Republican leaders wasted no time in responding to the announcement. Speaker of the House John Boehner released a statement Tuesday morning in which he chastised the President for waiting so long to address this issue. In his statement Boehner said “The President has been busy worrying about people in other countries who may or may not be good. Meanwhile, Americans, who have been proven to be Good, have been ignored.”
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell used even stronger language saying in a televised speech on his back porch while getting his paper Wednesday morning “What would President Obama know about bad things happening to good people. He is in no position to know much of anything about good people. Unless he's busy trying to enslave them as revenge for something that happened four hundred years ago.”
Fox News Analyst Sarah Palin responded despite not being asked for comment “I think it's awful and libelous that the President has said that I am the cause of all the bad things in this country. If he were a moose and I was in a helicopter I think we'd see who the good people really was.”
When informed that the President never made the statements referred to and that she had just threatened a sitting US president Ms. Palin, in an unexpected move, declined comment.
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