Local Family Gives Clearance for Savior to be Born

St. Charles, IL- The Thompson-Dunn family gave the go ahead this week for the birth of the Son of God to proceed according to reports on the families yearly Christmas letter. Apparently the family's recent trip to the local Christmas tree lot carried more weight than usual as the matriarch of the family, Shar Thompson-Dunn explained in the yearly condecendence. “ As we entered the lot Zack said the most precious thing. We were talking about whether or not we could find a tree more perfect than the previous years and Zack exclaimed “If we don't find the PERFECT tree this year, then Christmas won't come and Jesus won't be born.”

As the letter goes on to suggest, onlookers who heard this were horrified to find out that this aging middle class family had been given responsibility over such an important event in the history of the modern world. However it would appear that their fears were put to rest quite quickly. Not more than twenty minutes after entering the rows upon rows of short needled evergreens the Thompson-Dunns emerged with a 7 foot tall tree slung over the precocious 28 year old Zack's shoulder. The tree has been described as a densely needled spruce with a slight bare patch on the bottom that will reportedly be turned towards the window and a slight space between the branches at about five feet up that will be an excellent place for the families collection of moving interactive Star Trek ornaments.

While it would appear that the salvation of mankind is preserved for yet another year Nooze Nuggets was there at the Thompson-Dunn home to ask what it felt like having such a weighty responsibility rested upon their choice of Christmas trees. After asking us what we were doing on their property and then asking us forcefully yet politely to please leave the father of the family finally agreed to give us a written statement about the event if it would get us “to go the hell away”.

“This year my son made an off color remark reflecting his new found atheism as we got out of the car at the Marlion Christmas Tree Orchard. As a joke, poking fun at the unnecessary weight given to many holiday traditions, my son stated that the birth of the Lord and Savior of Christians every where hinged on our successful execution of this ancient Pagan ritual. If anyone heard his quip and took it seriously I wish to now assure you that regardless of our Christmas tree hunt, the birth of Jesus Christ has been secured as having been a little over 2,000 years ago.

Thank You

Jon Thompson-Dunn.

According to the annual family letter that initially released this bombshell to the public, the Thompson-Dunns have no intention of allowing this responsibility to change them. Shar reports that both Zack and his sister Brittany have big years planned. Zack intends to work on his novel and hopefully have it finished by the end of the year and Brittany is taking this year to find herself. Apparently according to Shar “Proving the existence of God and the lack of inherent direction in cause and effect might be enough for some families, but we at the Casa De Thompson-Dunn usual try and go just a little bit further.”